Things That Made Me Go, “Hmm…” – Week 40

Dearest readers,

Forgive my negligence in maintaining my regular blogging duties. My life has been a bit chaotic as of late and I have been unable to keep up with my regularly scheduled posts. (I really do need to make use of that “Schedule a Post” phenomenon…)

That being said, let me take the opportunity to be honest with you for a moment. Two significant things happened this week while preparing for this blog post (or rather, not preparing for this blog post…).

  1. I was not keeping up with the headlines seeing as I was trying to get settled into my new place and my new classroom. Headlines were the last things on my mind, so I was not consciously selecting articles for this week’s post.
  2. Nothing interesting happened this week. Literally nothing. At least I’m not aware of anything interesting happening this week. It could be because I wasn’t watching for it, but from the look’s of it, it was a pretty slow news week. When Donald Trump doesn’t throw a single hissy fit, you know it’s a slow week for news.

Therefore, we may be scraping the bottom of the barrel this week, thanks to the fact that EVERYONE ignored my Twitter plea to share interesting story ideas with me… Thanks, a lot, you mangy whores. (I don’t even know what that means, so don’t bother asking.)

Now, without further delay, here’s my very short list of things that made me go, “Hmm…” this week:

  • Damon Wayans went on a tirade this week. A ridiculous and stupid tirade, but a tirade nonetheless. Based on this tirade, I am now thoroughly convinced he is the jackass I always thought he could be. Way to be, Damon Wayans. Way. To. Be.
  • Speaking of royalty, I may be a little late to this party, but is this an actual thing??? I mean… you can’t just claim a kingdom, can you? I know it’s TLC but… it was in the news too. This is just too embarrassing for words. Just… go away, strange heirs. Go. Away.
  • And lastly, for those of you wondering about my personal life now that I have embarked upon this new adventure, this about sums it up:
fridge boyfriend

I really, REALLY need this t-shirt.

Okay, peeps. That’s all I have for this week. Next week, be dears and help a girl out with her headlines, WILL YA? I’m not asking for much. I mean… C’MON.

Over n’ out, good buddies. Have a great week.

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You GUYS!

You GUYS!

I FINALLY have internet again!

SQUEEEEEEEEEE!

Oh, how I have missed you my sweet, sweet mistress.

So, if any of you were all like,

“Um… Annie??? Way to drop the ball with your weekly ‘Hmm…’ post. You big stupid, jerk-face…”

I totally had an excuse. That being a lack of internet.

Also? There’s no need for name-calling or that sort of language. Simma dawn.

I will try to get my Charity Tuesday post up ASAP and then I will fill you all in on the weirdness that is my new life. (Hint: My new life is TOTALLY WEIRD. Because of the new people in it. It’s like living in the Twilight Zone. Seriously. I’m pretty sure I’m working with a bunch of Pod People…)

But right now, I have to go set up my new Roku box so I can have something to watch on the Telly. (What? I’m totally a pretend Brit. I can totally pull off that word…)

More later, peeps.

 

Things That Made Me Go, “Hmm…” – Week 39

First things first:

I HAVE had my coffee. However, yesterday was a particularly maddening day so before we get started with things that made me go “Hmm…” this week, allow me to get this off my chest.

  • My new apartment smells. I thought it was “old apartment smell”. You know, that mix of mildew and mustiness that occasionally accompanies basement apartments? I thought after airing out the place, vacuuming repeatedly and using various air freshening devices the problem might be taken care of. Not so. I didn’t really think much of it until the previous tenant stopped by yesterday to tell me that, “Oh, by the way, that apartment was flooded and that’s why I moved out.”

I’m sorry…. Come again?

Huh. Funny, because the landlord never mentioned ANYTHING ABOUT THAT. Hm… I WONDER WHY. And then it all came rushing back to me. No wonder all the old ladies in the building had been asking me, “Has he replaced that carpet yet?” I thought they were just crotchety old bitties with nothing better to do than complain about old carpets. NOPE. NOT THE CASE.

And then the informant got all nervous and was like, “I’ve been praying and praying about whether or not I should tell you! PLEASE don’t tell him you heard it from me! I’ll get kicked out!”

Um… first of all… no, you won’t you silly, little paranoid fruitcake. There’s these nifty things called “laws” that would prevent that from ever happening. Secondly, you had to pray about telling me this? I mean, I’m a big fan of prayer, but some things are just about common sense and human decency. Isn’t that kind of like asking God if you should warn your neighbors about a serial killer hiding in their closets?

ANYHOODLES… now I have to put on my big girl panties and get all bitchy and be like, “LISTEN HERE, BUB!” and actually confront the dude. Which is not in my nature AT ALL. And honestly, all I want to do is hide underneath the bed until the situation goes away.

UPDATE: I actually called and left a testy voicemail with the guy. And then I accidentally called back and when he answered, I panicked and hung up. Because that’s how I roll.  *sigh*

  • In other news (you know, the kind that actually affects someone other than myself…), this happened this week. And honestly, when I heard about it, I laughed out loud. Because it’s kind of like setting a rabid pitbull loose in a daycare and expecting everything to be fine because before letting him off the leash you pat him on the head and remind him to “be good”.

That’s what I said!

I’m not even being sarcastic. That’s genuinely amazing.

What was that? Oh, you think I should highlight this cause for my Charity Tuesday post too? Oh, you bet your bippy I will…

  • I could comment on the disgusting behavior of two disgusting human beings both of whose names begin with the letter “J”, but I would rather not sully this post by mentioning them or their harrible behavior. So, we’ll just skip it.

I could continue, but it’s rainy today and I’m tired and all the stress of having to call and be angry with the landlord has really worn me out. Sooo… I’m gonna call it a day.

Over n’ out, good buddies. Thanks for reading.

Things That Made Me Go, “Hmm…” – Week 38

Alright, kiddos. Ready for this week’s rundown? No? Not quite? Well, get ready, because I’m not gonna wait around for you guys…

  • This happened this week… and it was BRILLIANT. You go, John Brown. And don’t you dare apologize for anything. You did exactly what everyone has been wanting to do for the past 5 years. Bravo, sir. BRAV-O.
  • I came across this harribly lame lovely little snippet this week. It both frightened and enthralled me. I mean… REALLY, Alana Stewart? The woman’s gotta be some kind of alien life-form. That’s just… I mean… Holy Crappers, Batman! I guess I shouldn’t be so concerned about being 30, huh?
  • This also happened this week and it is literally the cutest thing EV-ER (…aside from the stupid rhyming scheme.) Who wrote the copy for this story? A four year old fairy princess?

The whole. Entire. Time. Poor jurors…

Okay, peeps. I realize that’s only four miniscule snippets, but gosh darn it… I’M BUSY. You should be happy I even posted this week. Good grief. The demands from you minions are getting just a wee bit ridiculous don’t you think? No? Well… YOU’RE WRONG. So there.

Lastly, in case you haven’t done this yet…

GO FOLLOW MISS CORA ON BLOGLOVIN’!  Seriously. What are you waiting for? Go do it. Why? Because I said so. And you may think I’m not the boss of you, but we all know I totally am, so… why fight it? Go do it. Thank you, minions.

Over n’ out, good buddies. Have an excellent end to your weekend.

 

Things That Made Me Go “Hmm…” – Week 37

Um, first of all, let me apologize to all you fans of my weekly “Hmm…” posts. For alas, I have not posted one of these in nearly a month.

A MONTH.

My bad.

This is really quite a shame considering the headlines of the past few weeks have been PHENOMENAL (Thanks in no small part to Donald Trump…).

However, there are still plenty of items from which to draw upon for this week’s installment.

Alright? Let’s do this.

(She) had blood coming out of her eyes, blood coming out of her wherever.”

Ahem. I’ll give you a moment to digest that…

After this lovely little tidbit, his campaign issued a statement insisting that he meant to say “whatever” instead of “wherever”. As though saying “Blood coming out of her ‘whatever'” changes the entire meaning of the statement and makes it perfectly acceptable.

His campaign issued another statement insisting that he was referring to her… nose.

I’m sorry… just…

And… that pretty much sums up that story.

I believe the word you’re looking for is, “Ew.”

I suppose that makes me some kind of misogynistic anti-feminist. I didn’t realize there was a shortage of tampons and pads in the world, although it makes sense with regards to developing countries. But if that’s the case, can’t we start some kind of “Period Charity” instead of running around without… stuff? Call me old fashioned but… Ew.

  • This also happened at the GOP debate (Don’t worry, after this little tidbit, I SWEAR I will not refer to the GOP debate and/or politics in this post again.) which was pretty much the highlight of the evening:
  • And for anyone out there currently searching for a job… Don’t stress… Everyone involved knows it’s just a BS waste of time anyway.

What is that… Five stories? Okay, I’m calling it. I could spend all day searching for more, but c’mon… I think we all know that isn’t going to happen. I hope you’re okay with that. If not… Yeah, I don’t really care.

Alrighty. Over n’ out, good buddies. Catch you on the flip side.

Did you SEE the Republican Primary Debate?

Okay, I promise not to get all political on this here blog thingy. Seriously. Because when people get too political on blogs, things just get messy and ugly and fights and feuds break out everywhere and pretty soon people are tweeting insults and… well, it’s just not very nice.

That being said…

Did you SEE the Republican Primary Debate last night?

Oh, no they DID-N’T.

Um… was that great television, or what?!

Seriously, if you didn’t watch it, you’re totally missing out.

If you want to know my humorous take on it, check out my latest Channillo article.

And by latest, I mean, the first article I’ve posted since May.

And by May, I mean, 3 MONTHS AGO.

And by 3 MONTHS AGO, I mean, “Seriously, Annie? Could you BE any more lame?!”

Clearly, I could not.

 

Things That Made Me Go, “Hmm…” – Week 36

Guess what, guys? I actually have headlines to work with this week. Actual. Headlines. Ones that made me go “Hmm…”. How exciting is that?!

Right?!

So, let’s just jump right in, shall we?

  • This revelation came out yesterday…. As though it’s actual “news” somehow. And you just can’t help but feel badly for her. I mean, she was SIX. She’s now 89. Her uncle was clearly a whack-a-doodle. Just give her a break, people. Geeze…
  • The Donald said this the other day… And you can’t help but feel badly for everyone ever associated with the dude. I mean… seriously? SERIOUSLY?! This is how you plan on winning the Republican nomination? How’s that working out for you? You dumbass. Where were you during the Vietnam war? Living off Daddy’s trust fund applying for deferments? You dumbass…
  •  This happened this week. I personally think we should save everyone a boat load of time, money and resources and just give Iran a couple of our nuclear bombs. I mean, that’s the end result we’re all working towards, isn’t it? ….  Oh, it’s not?  …..  Well, I’ll be darned. Who knew?!
  • Amazon Prime Day was this past Wednesday. And it was a big, fat, failury (No, it’s not a real word, but I just made it one. Because that’s how I roll.) failure. I mean, don’t get me wrong: Waitlists are the bomb, but I didn’t sign up to be a Prime member to sit on a waiting list. C’mon, Amazon. Get it together.
  • That amazing bruise that was supposed to show up on my foot after dropping a picture on it didn’t pan out like I had hoped. The goose egg is gone, and all that remains is a slight grayish spot where this horrific, ghastly, abominable bruise should have been. Alas, it was not meant to be. And now I am sad.

Sad kitty has a sad.

  • In Annie-related news, I finally found myself that ever-elusive apartment. Did I fill you guys in on the apartment hunt from hell? I didn’t? Well, that will be a story for another time… because it was this whole… thing. But glory be, I finally found myself a place and shall be moving forthwith. Well, not exactly forthwith.. more like a fortnight. But it’s happening, peeps. It. Is. Happening.

Alrighty, Aphrodite… that’s all I have for this week. Over n’ out, good buddies.