Help! I’m Leaking Money!

Oh. My. LAWD.

My bank account is leaking like a sieve.

At this point, it seems futile to try and stop it.

I could be wrong, but I’m fairly certain the universe is conspiring against me –  requiring major payments for things that have been put on the back burner for far too long, while other regularly-scheduled major payments are due at the EXACT SAME TIME.

Which means, I’m living WAY beyond my means at this point. Thank God for savings, but I am NOT a spender and this is just making me crazy-nervous.

Between car repairs and insurance premiums and bigger-ticket necessities… It’s just harrible. Plus, on top of all that, I missed a day of subbing thanks to the stupid vertigo, and right now I only have a few more subbing days lined up, and… well… let’s just say I’m working on my deep breathing exercises.

I hate money. Why was I not born independently wealthy? Why am I not the princess of some obscure European country nobody talks about or cares about? Why did I have to choose two of the lowest paying professions in the history of professions? Why is my checkbook not bottomless? Why is life so HARRRRRRDDDDD? WWWWHHHHHYYYYY????





Okay, I’m over it.

I’m off to pay for more stuff.

Wheeeee! This should be fun…


What Would You Be Left With?

Not long ago, a dear friend posed the following question to me:

What would you have today if you were only left with the things you had given thanks for the day before?

That stopped me dead in my tracks. What would I be left with? Thinking back to the previous day, it dawned on me that I would be left with nothing.

Not my health.

Not my home.

Not my job.

Not my family and friends.


Think about it. What would you be left with? What were thankful for yesterday? Anything? If you’re being honest with yourself, probably nothing, or at the very least, very little.

Maybe it’s the result of living in first world countries. We have more than we could ever need – more than most people even dream of. But we take it for granted because it’s always been there, and we assume, it always will be. So, rather than taking stock of the ridiculous amounts of opportunities, money and luxuries at our fingertips, we’re consumed with what we don’t have and what we still need.

We complain about the traffic. We complain about our jobs. We complain about our leaders. We complain that the baseball game was rained out, that the contractor’s quote for remodeling the rec room was too high, that our service at a restaurant was sub-par, that our kids have too much homework, that our annual trip to Disney World will have to be cancelled because it interferes with the in-laws visiting.

Do we ever stop to think about how ridiculous we sound?

Do we ever stop to think about what we have to be thankful for?

It’s easy to complain. It’s harder to take stock of your life and be grateful.

If you were to make a list of all the things you gave thanks for the day before, my guess is there would be maybe a half dozen items on the list. But if you were to write down everything there is to be thankful for? You’d probably have a list of 50 to 60 items.

Make a list of all you have to be thankful for. And then tell me, based on that list, what would you have today if you were only left with the things you gave thanks for yesterday.

Screw you, ball joints.

Apparently, I need the ball joints on my car replaced.


Let’s try that again.

Apparently, I need my ball joints replaced.

There. That sounds sufficiently dirty and weird, which is exactly what I was going for.

These “ball joints” they speak of are going to run me about $600.

Which is slap-my-ass fantastic because I already gave away $300 of my money on other car repairs and really, really wanted to make another donation to the struggling automotive business.

Sorry, charitable causes. The children will just have to starve this month because Annie has car parts that need replacing.

Screw you, savings account. Annie didn’t really need you anyway. It’s not like she has to survive the summer months with zero income.

No hard feelings, other bills. The late fees shouldn’t amount to much anyway.

My apologies, people I was planning on visiting this month. Looks like until those ball joints are fixed Annie will not be doing any freeway driving, lest her wheels give out on her and she goes careening into oncoming traffic. (Which, at this point, doesn’t sound like such a bad thing…)

Thanks, car people. That was just the pick-me-up I needed after I spent the day from hell with a bunch of hyperactive, misbehaving kindergarteners that I have to babysit again tomorrow. And when I say babysit, I mean babysit… because with all the hyperactivity and misbehaving, not much learning was happening anyway. So, really, thank you for that.

Oh, and Aunt Flo? Thank YOU for showing up unannounced and uninvited, so much so that I was completely unprepared for your visit and forced to run home at lunch time. You. Are. Awesome.

This day needs to be put out of its misery.


Fun at a funeral.

I have a funeral to go to tomorrow.

Funerals are always a good time, right? I love me a good funeral. I mean, who doesn’t love a good funeral?

The last funeral I attended was my father’s and even that was a good time. (Okay. I’m lying. That’s not true. Actually, it was the farthest thing from a good time. It was pretty much the worst thing ever.)

I’m not very good with funerals. Then again, who is? The whole “death” thing used to really get to me. And by “get to me” I mean I’d have full-blown panic attacks which resulted in me curled up in the fetal position on the floor at the mere thought of it. But, then when I actually had to face it for the first time as an adult and not some young child or adolescent who had never really processed the whole thing, it got a little easier. You know, as easy as death can get.

Still, I’m not a big fan of funerals, and tomorrow I have to go to one. Alone.

Friends have offered to bring me with them, but the only thing worse than going alone is going as a third wheel. (Seriously. Is there anything worse than a third wheel? I don’t think so. Not only are you relegated to the back seat of the car like a small child, but you’re also tagging along with the couple like a small child and it’s… just… awkward.) So, I’m going alone. I’m gonna be all brave-like. I mean, how hard can it actually be? You go, you sit there, you give a few hugs, you leave… right? I mean… it’s not some complicated process. Uncomfortable? Sure. Complicated? Not so much. I mean, if I can handle 3rd grade hoodlums for 8 hours I can handle sitting by myself during a funeral for 1 hour… right?

I mean, RIGHT?!

(Okay, here’s where you give me a pep talk and tell me everything is going to be okay. And….. GO!)

Thoughts on a Monday

  • I just brought my car in to be serviced at the local dealership. And yes, when I told them I was dropping my car off to be serviced, I inwardly giggled. Because I am that juvenile.
  • My alarm went off right in the middle of a work dream. Work dreams are the worst to wake up from because you’re already stressed out in the dream and then you wake up with the residual anxiety and panic still present, causing you to feel tired, head-achy, and generally hung over. Curse you, work dreams.
  • There is not enough coffee in the world to make finding that many tweets about Ted Cruz on your Twitter feed acceptable. Just… NO. Go away.

  • (I know this isn’t nice to say, but every time I see that guy’s face, I want to punch it. *POW.* Right in the kisser.)
  • You know what goes really well with luke-warm coffee? Girl Scout Thin Mints. Admit it. You totally want my fabulous life.
  • I have a sneaking suspicion that I have a Kim Kardashian ass. Okay, so maybe it’s not that big. Have you guys seen that thing?! (Hers, not mine.) There is no way that is natural. Just… no. Anyway, I’m sure I’m being perfectly unreasonable, but I’m still killing myself with yoga to ensure that doesn’t happen.
  • I have zero subbing jobs lined up for this week. Which means… I better go figure out what I’m going to do with my life. I mean… seriously.  *sigh*

Happy Monday, peeps.

MER. Life is hard.

Yeah. You heard right.


“Mer” is the sound I make when I have absolutely no reason for feeling blah and depressed and harrible, but I still feel that way. So, all I can say is, “Mer.”

That is my life right now.
I keep having these mood swings. One minute, everything will be awesome and fantastic and good, and the next I’m all, “Mer. I’m bored. Life sucks. There’s nothing to do and no hope for humanity” And then I bury my face in Winston’s fur and make dying whale sounds.

It. Is. Awesome.

Hey! Here’s a question: Do you ever re-tweet things on Twitter that you quite frankly don’t give a good gosh darn about?

I do. I have no idea why. I think it makes me feel better… like I care, or something… when in reality? I don’t.

I mean, most of the stuff I retweet I whole-heartedly agree with and applaud like… support for wounded soldiers. Or… aid for persecuted peoples in 3rd world countries. Or… educational… things… that help with… educational stuff. Or… really funny headlines from the Onion.

But race coversations on coffee cups?


Not so much.

But I keep retweeting those STUPID #RaceTogether tweets from Starbucks. Like… I’m inexplicably compelled to. I literally can’t stop myself.

Do I think it’s important to have an open and honest discussion about race? Sure. Do I need my coffee shop telling me when and where and how to do it? Not so much. JUST GIVE ME THE DANG COFFEE!


And here I am all retweeting stuff that I don’t care about. Why? I don’t know. Maybe because it makes me feel all progressive and cool. Even though it doesn’t.

Maybe I need a walk in my wellies.

Maybe I need to stop thinking about the fate that awaits me in that 1st grade classroom tomorrow. (Good God, someone put me out of my misery before I have to deal with those hoodlums.)

Maybe I need to get over myself and stop blogging about crap that doesn’t matter.



Let’s do that.


The Daydreamer Award


Okay, so apparently, I was nominated for another award, which I am thrilled by. Seriously. Plus, I like passing the love onto other bloggers, so let’s do this.

I was nominated by Lisa over at Real Mom of Long Island for the Daydreamer Award which is pretty fantastic because I am nothing if not a pretty decent daydreamer. (And by pretty decent I mean relatively decent… not pretty and decent… although, I’d be lying if I said that wasn’t true… Oh, calm down, peeps. I’m just kidding. I’m not really that full of myself… or AM I? Guess we’ll never know. There goes that whole “decent” idea. Amiright???).

I’m sorry… what were we talking about?

Oh, yessss… Daydreamer Award. Awesome. Fantastic. Incredible. AH-mazing. So, thank you, Lisa. You’re pretty dang AH-mazing yourself.

My challenge was to describe my absolute dream job. (What is meant by “absolute” dream job, by the way? Is it like the best of the best dream jobs? Do people normally have more than one dream job? I always thought a dream job was like… one thing. Maybe people have more than one. What do I know? Apparently, I am a one dream job kind of girl…)

ANYhoodles… Dream job. Yes. (Focus, Annie. Clearly you need to put the coffee mug down, woman.) It would literally be doing some type of charity work – helping, serving, raising awareness and funds for causes I hold near and dear to my heart. Helping people in war-torn, developing countries. Getting food, clean water, medical supplies, building shelters and schools for people that need it the most. Promoting educational causes, working with and inspiring kids, and speaking out against injustices. And then? Writing about it, speaking about it, and getting other people to care about it. Also? Doing a lot of traveling in the process. Honestly, nothing makes me feel more fulfilled than when I’m able to help someone else and bring a smile to their face. That is the most rewarding thing for me. Of course, in order to accomplish any of these things, I would need to be independently wealthy, so I better get cracking on that writing career. *sigh* Always another hoop to jump through, you know?

I propose the same challenge: Describe your dream job.

I am nominating:

Mama’s Musings

Rookie Notes

This is 30?

The Stay At Home Philosopher

Single Family Asylum

If you want to participate, feel free to jump in!

Here are the rules:

1. Thank the person who gave you the award.

2. Complete the challenge they set you.

3. Select a blog or blogs that you want to give the award to. (The amount of blogs you select is unlimited!)

4. Tell them about it and set them a challenge.

(Please include the rules in your post).

On your marks… Get set…

I’m sorry, what? I got distracted again…