Be careful what you wish for…

Be careful what you wish for… you might just get it.

Isn’t that what we’re always warned about? You wish for something, that wish comes true, and it turns out the grass really was greener on the original side of the fence?

I wonder if the same thing goes for what you pray for. Be careful what you pray for… you might just get it.

But I suppose that’s how things work in an imperfect world. Nothing is perfect. Therefore, if nothing is perfect, then the after-affects, the consequences of an imperfect world must be imperfect as well. Even with perfect intentions, there are pluses and minuses, pros and cons. Nothing is perfect. Perfection is impossible in an imperfect world. So, even if you wish for perfection, you’ll never get perfection – you’ll get reality – and that’s the downside of the whole thing.

It’s funny when you look back on the things you once wished for – things from long ago, and things more recent. Sometimes we wonder, “Why did I ever want something like that?” Other times we wistfully think, “If I could only grasp that one thing…” That was my mood today. While waxing philosophically, I was thinking back on things I wished for… things I prayed for… and I was taking account of answered prayers and unanswered prayers. Some of the unanswered prayers were blessings in disguise. (No, scratch that. ALL of the unanswered prayers were blessings in disguise.) While some of the answered prayers were among the greatest challenges, the things that forced me to grow and stretch – especially when I didn’t want to.

Case in point: When I was younger (Okay, not that much younger. I’m not that old to begin with…)… college-aged… young and naive about my future… restless and adventurous and slightly rebellious… I used to pray for a life less ordinary.

I didn’t want an ordinary life. I wanted a life full of surprises and adventure and wild expectations and miracles. I didn’t want a house in the suburbs with a stable job and 2.3 kids, a trustworthy husband named Stewart, a golden retriever named Lady and a reliable car that got 15 mpg. No. I wanted to live by faith, and I wanted to see God do great things and I wanted to achieve great things and go where God led me.

And now… 10 years later… I think I actually got what I prayed for. Which at 32 years old isn’t what I really want at all. At 32 years old what I really, REALLY want is a house in the suburbs with a stable job and 2.3 kids, a trustworthy husband named Stewart, a golden retriever named Lady and a reliable car that gets 15 mpg. But instead I have an apartment in a podunk farming town, no kids, a husband who left me, an emotionally insecure cat and a 10 year old car whose rusty bumper is about to fall off. I work at a CATHOLIC school for very, VERY little pay, I have zero financial security, a ridiculously boring social life, my parents are gone and I have zero family nearby and… and… and the highlight of my days is going to Mass with my second graders. I’m excited about possibly becoming Catholic, and taking my kids on a field trip, and getting them involved in their church, and learning all I can about all the things I never knew about my faith. And here’s the really bizarre thing: I. LOVE. IT. It’s exciting and adventurous and miracles (big and small) are happening every day and I’m literally hanging on for dear life not having a clue which direction God is going to take me in and yet loving every single minute of not knowing and not having a plan but feeling all giddy because I know it will be good. It might be slightly uncomfortable at first… it might require me to stretch and grow… it might force me out of my comfort zone… but it thrills me!

It’s… in no uncertain terms… a life less ordinary. And there are days when I hate it and lament it and abhor it. Days when I want to get off the roller coaster and get back on the swing set. Days when I ask God (like I did just last week), “Can I PLEASE stop growing now? I’m about as strong as I can get. I’m good here. Just… let’s just leave it be… seriously. I’m tired. All done. Annie go nigh-nigh.” But that’s what you get when you ask for a life less ordinary. You might just get what you ask for.

And most days? I wouldn’t change it for anything.

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Is this thing on?

Holy.

Crappers.

It’s been so long since I’ve written on here, that I couldn’t remember my log-in or password.

Worse yet, I couldn’t actually remember the name of my blog.

That’s shameful. And pathetic. And for that I am truly, truly sorry.

It’s just that…

LIFE.

All of a sudden it reared it’s ridiculously beautiful head and I was off and running and haven’t had a chance to catch my breath.

Because now there are new questions and challenges of love and faith and truth… and it’s all been so entirely captivating that I haven’t needed to write about it because it was enough to just revel in it.

I know. None of that makes any sense. But to me? It makes perfect sense. And that sense makes everything so much more beautiful and lovely and now… now? Every day is a new chance to find out something NEW… to be inspired… to be grown and stretched and challenged.

And yes, this is all bordering on gag-worthy schmaltz, but… it’s just… been magical unicorns and dancing butterflies for the past three months.

Even with every hardship and heartbreak and ugly situation… God has been in the lead… and He’s leading me in ways I never imagined. And that’s the most exciting, thrilling, challenging thing of all. Leaving all control with Him who knows it all.

 

Back and better than ever

First of all, allow me to apologize for my extended absence. 10 days? 10 DAYS?! What is that?! That’s a new record for sure. I mean, I had good reason and all, but holy crappers I missed you guys.

Secondly, THANK YOU for the words of encouragement and prayers. I and my family so appreciate it. My mom is doing well and I KNOW that my God is a God of miracles… with Him all things are possible… so I refuse to be fearful and worrisome. He’s got this.

Thirdly, I’m totally jamming to Stevie Wonder on the oldies station here in town. Stevie is the bomb. And anyone who says otherwise is a total dumbass.

So… get this, you guys…

This sweet little Protestant girl is TOTALLY loving her job at the Catholic school.

Like, loving it to the point that I come home giddy, go to bed giddy and get up giddy. The giddiness is bordering on ridiculous and slightly gross. But I can’t help it, I’m just all…

and…

with a little of this…

It’s just…

There are no words for how much I love this stupid job.

My kiddos? I could hug them until their eyes pop out.

My coworkers? I could high-five the crap out of them.

My principal? I could hug her and kiss her and call her George.

The fathers? All of the above.

It is just the BEST job.

Yesterday we had mass. BEST. HOMILY. EVER.

Next week we’re praying the rosary as a school. And I’m EXCITED.

In a month or two it will be my turn to lead mass. And I’m THRILLED.

What is happening?!

I even got excited about the pope.

THE POPE, PEOPLE.

Protestants do NOT get excited about the pope.

We don’t do popes. We think popes are silly and frivolous. And instead I’m all… “Did you HEAR what the pope said?”

What is that?!

*sigh*

I have no intention of becoming Catholic, but I’m beginning to realize our differences are much fewer than I thought they were. And I had the best discussion about Catholicism with Father McCutie. (Yes, that’s his nickname now. Deal.) And I want to give all the Catholics a hug and a high five.

My life has become so weird.

And I love it.

So, I guess my point is…

Well, I have no point. Except to say, “I’m back. And better than ever.”

Squeeee!

 

Things That Made Me Go, “Hmm…” – Week 40

Dearest readers,

Forgive my negligence in maintaining my regular blogging duties. My life has been a bit chaotic as of late and I have been unable to keep up with my regularly scheduled posts. (I really do need to make use of that “Schedule a Post” phenomenon…)

That being said, let me take the opportunity to be honest with you for a moment. Two significant things happened this week while preparing for this blog post (or rather, not preparing for this blog post…).

  1. I was not keeping up with the headlines seeing as I was trying to get settled into my new place and my new classroom. Headlines were the last things on my mind, so I was not consciously selecting articles for this week’s post.
  2. Nothing interesting happened this week. Literally nothing. At least I’m not aware of anything interesting happening this week. It could be because I wasn’t watching for it, but from the look’s of it, it was a pretty slow news week. When Donald Trump doesn’t throw a single hissy fit, you know it’s a slow week for news.

Therefore, we may be scraping the bottom of the barrel this week, thanks to the fact that EVERYONE ignored my Twitter plea to share interesting story ideas with me… Thanks, a lot, you mangy whores. (I don’t even know what that means, so don’t bother asking.)

Now, without further delay, here’s my very short list of things that made me go, “Hmm…” this week:

  • Damon Wayans went on a tirade this week. A ridiculous and stupid tirade, but a tirade nonetheless. Based on this tirade, I am now thoroughly convinced he is the jackass I always thought he could be. Way to be, Damon Wayans. Way. To. Be.
  • Speaking of royalty, I may be a little late to this party, but is this an actual thing??? I mean… you can’t just claim a kingdom, can you? I know it’s TLC but… it was in the news too. This is just too embarrassing for words. Just… go away, strange heirs. Go. Away.
  • And lastly, for those of you wondering about my personal life now that I have embarked upon this new adventure, this about sums it up:
fridge boyfriend

I really, REALLY need this t-shirt.

Okay, peeps. That’s all I have for this week. Next week, be dears and help a girl out with her headlines, WILL YA? I’m not asking for much. I mean… C’MON.

Over n’ out, good buddies. Have a great week.

Things That Made Me Go, “Hmm…” – Week 39

First things first:

I HAVE had my coffee. However, yesterday was a particularly maddening day so before we get started with things that made me go “Hmm…” this week, allow me to get this off my chest.

  • My new apartment smells. I thought it was “old apartment smell”. You know, that mix of mildew and mustiness that occasionally accompanies basement apartments? I thought after airing out the place, vacuuming repeatedly and using various air freshening devices the problem might be taken care of. Not so. I didn’t really think much of it until the previous tenant stopped by yesterday to tell me that, “Oh, by the way, that apartment was flooded and that’s why I moved out.”

I’m sorry…. Come again?

Huh. Funny, because the landlord never mentioned ANYTHING ABOUT THAT. Hm… I WONDER WHY. And then it all came rushing back to me. No wonder all the old ladies in the building had been asking me, “Has he replaced that carpet yet?” I thought they were just crotchety old bitties with nothing better to do than complain about old carpets. NOPE. NOT THE CASE.

And then the informant got all nervous and was like, “I’ve been praying and praying about whether or not I should tell you! PLEASE don’t tell him you heard it from me! I’ll get kicked out!”

Um… first of all… no, you won’t you silly, little paranoid fruitcake. There’s these nifty things called “laws” that would prevent that from ever happening. Secondly, you had to pray about telling me this? I mean, I’m a big fan of prayer, but some things are just about common sense and human decency. Isn’t that kind of like asking God if you should warn your neighbors about a serial killer hiding in their closets?

ANYHOODLES… now I have to put on my big girl panties and get all bitchy and be like, “LISTEN HERE, BUB!” and actually confront the dude. Which is not in my nature AT ALL. And honestly, all I want to do is hide underneath the bed until the situation goes away.

UPDATE: I actually called and left a testy voicemail with the guy. And then I accidentally called back and when he answered, I panicked and hung up. Because that’s how I roll.  *sigh*

  • In other news (you know, the kind that actually affects someone other than myself…), this happened this week. And honestly, when I heard about it, I laughed out loud. Because it’s kind of like setting a rabid pitbull loose in a daycare and expecting everything to be fine because before letting him off the leash you pat him on the head and remind him to “be good”.

That’s what I said!

I’m not even being sarcastic. That’s genuinely amazing.

What was that? Oh, you think I should highlight this cause for my Charity Tuesday post too? Oh, you bet your bippy I will…

  • I could comment on the disgusting behavior of two disgusting human beings both of whose names begin with the letter “J”, but I would rather not sully this post by mentioning them or their harrible behavior. So, we’ll just skip it.

I could continue, but it’s rainy today and I’m tired and all the stress of having to call and be angry with the landlord has really worn me out. Sooo… I’m gonna call it a day.

Over n’ out, good buddies. Thanks for reading.

Random Thoughts on a Random Tuesday

Why random thoughts on a random Tuesday? Because I said so, that’s why.

  • This morning, I had my first dentist appointment in THREE YEARS. (Don’t you judge me. I have harrible tooth anxiety. What? That’s a thing. That’s totally a thing.) To say I was concerned was an understatement. I thought they were going to be scraping my teeth for a full five hours and then sending me to an oral specialist for some kind of unknown, unpronounceable mouth thing. Turns out, the scraping only took half an hour and I had no cavities. I know what you’re thinking…

.

Because it’s exactly what I was thinking too. Although, I did get a short lecture on flossing more. And then I was told that the gum-line near my bicuspids had receded to the point that my roots were exposed… and eventually, I would probably need a skin graft. Which I already knew about… and thus the reason I had been avoiding the dentist for the past three years. But now that I won’t have dental insurance (you know, after having taken my vow of poverty for the Catholic diocese…), I can surely put it off for another year. But eventually, I’m going to have to put on my big girl pants, and just bite the bullet. But not right now. For now, I shall celebrate my mostly healthy, and conspicuously clean mouth.

  • In other news, I know shockingly little about Joseph Stalin. This occurred to me after watching a documentary about him on the History Channel. Did you know he was in power up until the 1950s? And he started all kinds of concentration camps in Russia? WHO KNEW?! I mean, I vaguely remember skimming over him in World History in 11th grade, but otherwise? Yeah, we didn’t really talk about him. It was always Hitler, Hitler, Hitler. Well, what about Stalin? Mussolini? General Mao? Saddam Hussein? HMM??? Shouldn’t they at least be given a footnote in our history books?!

Why should Hitler just get to stomp around like a giant while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? The other ruthless, murderous dictators are just as cute as Hitler, right? The other ruthless, murderous dictators are just as smart as Hitler. People totally like the other ruthless, murderous dictators just as much as they like Hitler, and when did it become okay for Hitler to be the boss of everybody because that’s not what ruthless, murderous dictatorship is about! We should all just stab Hitler!”

Mean Girls? Oh, nevermind. It was stretch anyway. Needless to say,  I will be picking up history books from the library and brushing up on world history. Because… you know… being dumb about stuff is never ideal.

  • I have made a decision that from here on out every Tuesday on this here blog is going to be”Charity Tuesday”. It is here that I will highlight a charity and/or worthy cause worth giving to, promoting, or volunteering time to. And then you guys can take it from there. And retweet it. And repost it. And reblog it. And get other people to care. Because every little bit helps, right? Right. And I’m feeling particularly charitable lately.
  • I have been deplorably lazy with reading other peoples’ blogs lately. I PROMISE I will come around and catch up. There’s really no excuse for my lack of visits. I’m just lazy. And sometimes busy. But mostly, just lazy.

*sigh*

With that being said… I suppose I should finish my laundry. And maybe work on some lesson plans. Maybe brush my teeth again (you know, for good luck or… something).

Catch you on the flip-side, peeps.

 

Things That Made Me Go “Hmm…” – Week 37

Um, first of all, let me apologize to all you fans of my weekly “Hmm…” posts. For alas, I have not posted one of these in nearly a month.

A MONTH.

My bad.

This is really quite a shame considering the headlines of the past few weeks have been PHENOMENAL (Thanks in no small part to Donald Trump…).

However, there are still plenty of items from which to draw upon for this week’s installment.

Alright? Let’s do this.

(She) had blood coming out of her eyes, blood coming out of her wherever.”

Ahem. I’ll give you a moment to digest that…

After this lovely little tidbit, his campaign issued a statement insisting that he meant to say “whatever” instead of “wherever”. As though saying “Blood coming out of her ‘whatever'” changes the entire meaning of the statement and makes it perfectly acceptable.

His campaign issued another statement insisting that he was referring to her… nose.

I’m sorry… just…

And… that pretty much sums up that story.

I believe the word you’re looking for is, “Ew.”

I suppose that makes me some kind of misogynistic anti-feminist. I didn’t realize there was a shortage of tampons and pads in the world, although it makes sense with regards to developing countries. But if that’s the case, can’t we start some kind of “Period Charity” instead of running around without… stuff? Call me old fashioned but… Ew.

  • This also happened at the GOP debate (Don’t worry, after this little tidbit, I SWEAR I will not refer to the GOP debate and/or politics in this post again.) which was pretty much the highlight of the evening:
  • And for anyone out there currently searching for a job… Don’t stress… Everyone involved knows it’s just a BS waste of time anyway.

What is that… Five stories? Okay, I’m calling it. I could spend all day searching for more, but c’mon… I think we all know that isn’t going to happen. I hope you’re okay with that. If not… Yeah, I don’t really care.

Alrighty. Over n’ out, good buddies. Catch you on the flip side.