So, I may have mentioned previously that I’m dating someone.
Since I’ve been gone so long I never really mentioned it.
But I am.
When people found out they were either…
Dating really wasn’t even on my radar. Living where I live, the odds of meeting an educated, intelligent, well-rounded, responsible male who didn’t live for football season and drink himself into a stupor every time his team lost… was unlikely. Furthermore, the odds of me going online to find a relationship? Puh-lease… I have a hard enough time reading people in person. I was not going to go online and take my chances building a relationship through texts and e-mails.
And then… the man (as he will subsequently be referred to as) asked me out. Now, to clarify, I had known the man for over a year before he worked up the courage to ask me out. And when I had met him the previous year, my first thought had been (and no, I’m not making this up…), “Oh goodness. We are totally going to date, aren’t we? Maybe even get married. Wait. What? I just met you. That’s weird. New train of thought, Annie. If he could hear you right now, he’d know you were a psycho…” I mean, I INSTANTLY clicked with him. And that’s never happened before.
But even when he asked me out, I wasn’t looking for anyone. Even though it had been a full 3 and a half years since my husband had walked out, I really wasn’t looking to date. So, when he did ask me out, I was all, “Um… can we do that? Is it too soon? Is it too late? I DON’T UNDERSTAND THE TIMELINE REQUIREMENTS, HERE!!!”
So, we went on a date. And it went shockingly well. And then we went on another… and then I got freaked out and took 15 steps back…. but then we had another date… and another… and another… and before I knew it, we were like, grossly in love with each other and all, “Yup. I found the one I want to keep.”
You guys… THAT HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE. I like… fell in love with someone. I’ve never been in love with anyone! And honestly, sometimes I’m like, “How has this never happened before?! I am 20 years behind everyone else! This is what that feels like? WHO KNEW?!” Clearly, I’ve been a bit stunted in the relationship department. My bad.
But anyway, we started dating, and one of the first things I noticed about him that made me go…
was the fact that the man… had his CRAP together.
And by having his crap together, I mean…
- He was financially stable.
- He knew what it meant to be a contributing member of society.
- He did his own dishes and cleaned his own house.
- He didn’t play with Legos.
- He knew how to parent and selflessly put the needs of his children first.
- He knew how to remodel and do home maintenance.
- He was ridiculously good with money.
- He didn’t drink.
- He READ BOOKS.
- He cooked amazingly tasty meals… and desserts… and appetizers.
- He didn’t avoid conflict.
- He was honest.
- He was emotionally mature.
- He was smart and didn’t talk out of his… um… rear end.
- He’d clean my carpets, do my taxes, straighten my classroom, take care of Winston, and even do my dishes… if it meant it would help me out in some way.
Um… I’m sorry. Come again?
I HAD FOUND THE LEGENDARY MAGICAL UNICORN OF THE MALE SPECIES.
I HAD HIT THE JACKPOT.
(Actually, you know what? Instead of “the man”, let’s just call him “Jack”.)
Everything is good and awesome and wonderful about this scenario.
With the exception of one thing…
I don’t have my crap together.
I blame it on the fact that I’m seven years younger than him and childless… but still. Financially secure? Ha! I make less than a seventeen year old at McDonald’s. (No, I’m not exaggerating. Catholic Schools pay shockingly little.) Doing dishes and cleaning my house? WHAT TEACHER HAS TIME FOR THAT?! Remodeling and doing home maintenance? My brother got me an electric drill for Christmas. I still don’t know how to use it. In some ways, his awesomeness makes me feel like a kid… who knows shockingly little about the world. I mean, he’s someone I admire and respect but… I’ve never been in this situation before. I’ve always been the one to have their crap together… I’ve been the magical unicorn in the equation. And now? Now I don’t have to work nearly as hard.
Which is good… but intimidating.
I mean, how long before he starts to notice?