Here it is. The moment you’ve been waiting for ALL WEEK. You’re welcome, Blogosphere. You. Are. Welcome.
- This happened this week:
I find it fundamentally strange that people are more upset about the hypotheticals regarding a new law in Indiana than they are about 147 Christians being brutally slaughtered in Kenya… for being Christians. What exactly does that say about our priorities as Americans? Seriously… what is the matter with us? Just because we’re protected from such horrors means it doesn’t matter?
- Here is a video of Prince Harry flying in a World War II Spitfire:
Aside from the fact that “Spitfire” is the single best name for an aircraft ev-ER, here’s what I find annoyingly weird about this whole thing. If you’re going to write a story highlighting the dude’s charity work (The flight was for promotion of the Spitfire scholarship which offers training for wounded servicemen and women… which is AWESOME), then please do so. But does the story need to reflect our obsession with “celebrity” to such an extent that we write the following stupid headlines? “Prince Harry Gleefully Laughs and Cheers During Spitfire Flight” (from People). Or “Watch Prince Harry Whoop with Delight as His Spitfire Rolls in Top Gun Moment” (from the Mirror). “News” like this makes my head hurt, and headlines that use phrases such as “gleefully” and “whoop with delight” make my head hurt even more. Make the story about the charity work, not oohing and ahhing over well-known people acting like normal human beings because… really? Just… STOP.
- Rotary phones are the bomb. Children who grew up without rotary phones are sad individuals. That being said, watch these sad individuals try to figure out how to text with a rotary phone.
And if you watch it through to the tail end, you’ll get these little gems:
- “I wasn’t born in the 40s so…”
- “I love old technology. I’m a fan of plastics”
- What is a long distance call? “Letters?”
- Someone decided to make a chocolate sculpture of Benedict Cumberbatch. First of all… every time I hear that name, I become inexplicably enraged because I can’t figure out if that’s the name of a human being or a dessert or an Anime character or some historical reference to an obscure military battle fought during the Revolutionary War. Benedict Cumberbatch? What is that? That’s totally made up. Right? Like Kim Kardashian’s ass… not even real.
- This also happened this week:
Oh, Manuela. You are awesome. (I love how she hides behind the sign in horror.)
Okay, kids. That’s all I have for you this week. Over n’ out, good buddies.
But lastly… A Happy Easter to all!