What’s the Reward?

Goody Two-Shoes.

Lily White.

Straight Laced.

The Good Girl.

Yep. That’s me. I annoy and confuse people with my propensity for doing good.

I’m helpful. I’m kind. I’m patient. I’m loyal. I’m dedicated. I always do the right thing.

Basically, I’m the kind of person people roll their eyes at and avoid because, let’s be honest, who wants to hang out with Little Miss Goody Goody?

The thing people don’t realize is that along with this penchant for being “good” comes the ability to not judge. Truthfully, I couldn’t care less about what you do. If you want to be a bad ass and engage in all kinds of debauchery, go for it. I don’t care. As long as you can make me laugh and carry on an intelligent conversation, we’re cool. It’s just that… all that bad-assery and debauchery? I can’t take part in it.

And when I say, ‘I can’t take part in it’, I don’t mean… “Oh, heavens no! I could never do something morally questionable!”

I mean, it’s literally not in me. The rebellion chip was missing when I was born. I have tried to not do the right thing in the past, and I can’t do it. I don’t know how to. I am innately inclined to be honest, responsible, morally upright, and full of integrity.

If I’m being totally honest… It is SO ANNOYING. I even annoy myself. I look around at people who don’t always do the “right” thing and I think, “Why can’t I do that? I can totally do that… can’t I? I can sleep around with gaggles of random hot men, get drunk and party and not remember what happened the night before, try a little weed, do a little twerking, leave the tags on and return the clothes after wearing them. I can totally do that!” The thing is… I CAN’T. It’s not in my DNA. I don’t want to. I have no desire to.

But WHY?! Why can’t I just be normal and not always good? What’s the reward? What’s my payoff? It’s not like I get further ahead by being good. I don’t reap benefits by always doing the right thing. Sometimes the right thing is a hassle and a headache. Sometimes doing the wrong thing would be so much easier. And what does it matter, anyway? If I do the wrong thing no one’s going to care. Heck, if I did the wrong thing once in a while people would probably like me better. Occasionally, I get pissed that people can be complete ass hats and never have to answer for their behavior, and I never behave like an ass hat and never reap any benefits. How does that work?

And then, just when I’m ready to toss in the towel, and throw caution to the wind, and not recycle, I’m reminded to chill out and keep on keeping on:

“And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.”– Galatians 6:9

Okay, God. I hear you. But this payoff better be good. *sigh*

Gif Source: http://ladyofthehouseolivier.tumblr.com/post/29701686424/what-if-the-song-used-in-the-trailer-isnt-by-scala-and
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