Why, in the name of all that is holy, did I sign up to do kindergarten tomorrow?



*shrugs* It’s not because I love children, that’s for sure.

I only had these first graders for 2 and a half hours today.

Two and a half hours.

It felt like 16.

I never knew how many major meltdowns could occur in such a short amount of time.

Please, children, by all means, if your ear hurts, your head aches, you bumped your knee, or you ended up with a warning at the end of the day, PLEASE throw yourselves prostrate on the floor while kicking and screaming until your teacher’s ears bleed. Seriously. It’ll be fun. We’ll all have a good laugh about it. Oh, sure, you’ll probably miss the bus and administration will have to be called due to the perceived “emergency” taking place in the classroom based on the blood curdling screams coming from your mouth, but hey… at least the kicking, the screaming, and the uncontrollable sobbing will solve the problem.

Oh, and then… and THEN… let’s have the lights go out RIGHT at the end of the day when all the little, screaming children having meltdowns are *this* close to going home. It’ll be all…

YAY! I actually had two precious little dears burst into tears because it was slightly darker in the hallway than in was in the classroom

*Deep breath*

Listen, I get that you guys are only in first grade. I understand that some of you are scared of the dark. I know that sometimes when you bump your knee it hurts. I know that you didn’t want be warned about your behavior… BUT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD COULD WE PLEASE STOP REACTING AS THOUGH THE APOCALYPSE IS UPON US AND WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE?!

I mean…



I can’t even.

And tomorrow I have kindergarteners?


Here’s to hoping they’re a wee bit more emotionally mature than their 1st grade classmates.

Good grief.

Gif Sources:,

4 thoughts on “KEEP IT TOGETHER, MAN!

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