- Crocheting, knitting, cross-stitching, sewing… pretty much any activity that involves some sort of fabric and a needle. I mean… why? I tried it once in college. I felt like an 80 year old. Plus, I didn’t understand what I was doing and it was dumb. I don’t understand why people feel the need to torture themselves.
- Science Fiction and Fantasy anything. In TV shows, books, games, movies, conversation, etc. Again… WHY? Also, any activities associated with Science Fiction and Fantasy such as Larping and Cosplay. I mean… really? Are we still seven? You do realize that pretending to be a character from a movie does not, in fact, make you that character from said movie. Plus, you just look weird and undateable. And if I never have to watch another Hobbit, Lord of the Rings, The Walking Dead, Star Wars, Star Trek, Dr. Who (actually, I’ve never seen a single Dr. Who episode, so who am I to judge…) thing ever again, I will die a happy girl.
- Sudoku. I tried it once. And then I shot myself in the foot.
- Christian Fiction. Mostly because the majority of it is poorly written, contrived and preachy. The writer in me just can’t read it.
- Not caring about one’s appearance. You do realize people can see you, right? And you look like a hobo/slut/hippie/redneck/meth addict/freak show. So, I’m guessing that doesn’t bother you then?
- Mormonism. Let me clarify. Love, love, LOVE the people… not so much the church. I picture shifty-eyed old white dudes whispering secretively about how to keep the more unsavory aspects of the church away from the prying eyes of curious followers and how to best shame them into never asking questions ever again. But, then again, that’s possibly an adequate description of the Roman Catholic church, so… what do I know?
- People who don’t drink coffee. It is these people whom I want to punch in the face on a regular basis. Even my good friends. It’s unacceptable. I don’t care if you don’t like the taste… you drink it anyway because it’s part of the American way… you unpatriotic Commie.
- People who are early to bed and early to rise. Who are you to be all like, “Ooh… look at me! I’ve been up for the last 20 hours and I’ve gotten SO MUCH DONE!”? You’re a jerk. Go back to bed and be normal.
- Picky eaters. It’s FOOD, okay? It’s all pretty wonderful. Get over yourself, otherwise we will start tube feeding you just because you’re annoying.
- People who don’t like Taylor Swift. Just so we’re clear, Taylor is pretty much the best thing to happen to this country since… well, since coffee. You unpatriotic Commie.
- People who talk incessantly. You are exhausting. Just zip it. No one is even listening anymore. There’s gotta be a pill you can take for that.
- My life at this point in time. I’d attempt to be more optimistic, but let’s be honest… being stuck in the house for a week and a half with your mother and needy cat due to the frigid temperatures outside does not lend itself to a lot of optimism.
- Massages. Why do people allow strangers to rub lotions all over their naked bodies? How is that relaxing? It’s more horrifying than anything else.
- Diet sodas. Okay, so you’re not getting fat, but that poison you’re drinking will kill you 17 times faster than regular soda. You do realize that, don’t you?
I’d take the time to think up more things I don’t understand, but I have to run to the store.
More later, peeps.