The World’s Greatest Substitute Teacher

FINE. Don’t like my compilation of pretty guys I want for Christmas. Just… FINE. See if I care. I clearly don’t. You, selfish jerks.

In other news, I subbed today. At least, I think I did. I wasn’t really sure what was happening because the kids weren’t listening and there didn’t seem to be a whole lot of “learning” going on. Unless, talking incessantly, poking each other, not doing your own work, and staring off into space constitutes “learning”. If that’s the case, then we did a bang-up job.

They also earned 8 smiley faces from me today. Okay. Actually, they didn’t. They only earned like… four… because they were acting like a bunch of hyper active squirrels all day. But I jammed the other four smileys in there during the last 20 minutes of class so I could get rid of the mini-candy canes I had purchased in order to coax good behavior out of them. Clearly, it didn’t work… and they really didn’t earn them… but I kept staring at all those stupid candy canes wondering what the heck I was going to do with them (Hand them out to strangers? Give them away AFTER the holidays?  Tape them to presents with the knowledge they would never get eaten anyway?), so I just tacked those 4 smileys on at the tail end, and gave the candy canes away as a reward. I’m such an awesome sub. “Hey, parents! I just rewarded your kids for bad behavior AND sent them home on a sugar high. YAYYYY!!!” But I can totally get away with it because A.) I’m just a sub and B.) Nobody got hurt today. So… all in all… it was a success. Especially considering the fact that the kids did indeed inform me that I was (and I quote) “the best substitute teacher EVER” because I let them sit ON their desks during snack time. (Apparently, this is a very big deal in second grade…) So, now I have proof that I am, indeed, the World’s Greatest Substitute Teacher. I should probably add that to my resume. (And yes, that says, “resume” but really I meant Res-u-MAY but I can’t find the little dashy thingy that goes above the “e” symbol.)

Now, it’s onto more important matters… like editing the boards on my Pinterest account (they’re all disorganized and mumbo-jumboed, OKAY?!) , working up the courage to leave Facebook once and for all, and making myself some more coffee.

Mmm… coffee.


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