Truth

If I’m going to spend the day feeling hungover, at least I could have the benefits of the night before to accompany it. But being that I don’t drink, that’s unlikely. Also, are there benefits to the night before a hangover or does the hangover just erase any and all of the benefits? I don’t know. I’ve never been hungover. So, how do I know what a hangover feels like? Well I guess I can only speculate, but speculatively speaking? This hangover feeling sucks. It’s probably a culmination of a lack of caffeine, too much sugar, and profuse bleeding. Regardless, I just want to sit and stare and not be forced to speak to anyone or think about anything. It hurts too much.

In other news, I kind of “came out” about my divorce on Facebook last night. It just felt like something I needed to do. I’m sure there were already plenty of questions and speculations about my newly “single” status, and the abrupt disappearance of any and all pictures resembling the ass hat. I didn’t say anything about it directly, I just posted this awesome article by the always awesome Lisa Arends about not believing in divorce. Mainly because it stated perfectly for me everything I wanted to say.

Of course, only a handful of people understood they were supposed to actually read the article. The vast majority spent the time jumping to conclusions and saying stupid things like, “Sad.” and “Divorce is tough. So sorry it happened to you.” And I wanted to scream at them to “READ THE FREAKIN’ ARTICLE! NONE OF THIS IS MY FAULT!” But then I realized doing so would not only come off as oddly hostile but also somewhat passive aggressive, so I decided not to.

The point in posting the article was really to say, “Yes, I went through a divorce. Do not judge. Sometimes divorce is not your choice.” But then I realized, it’s Facebook… people don’t take the time to actually read anything… just headlines and funny captions. Then they draw their own conclusions. I already know this, so… it was basically my fault for even putting it on there. Plus, there is no need to defend myself and scream at the top of my lungs that, “THIS ISN’T MY FAULT! I DON’T BELIEVE IN DIVORCE! I DIDN’T DO THIS!” Why do I feel the need for people to validate this truth? Who cares? I know the truth… the people that matter know the truth… isn’t that what really matters?

And yet, on the flip-side, I felt like a weight had been lifted… like I didn’t need to skulk around with my big, bad secret hanging around my neck anymore. I felt like I was finally able to say, “This is my truth. Take it or leave it.” Now if I can just learn to accept the fact that some people will just never get it…

Okay, enough of that. I’m off to dine on some strong coffee and a couple of Advil. Catch you on the flip-side, peeps.

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