So, this happened yesterday…

Speaking of death and people being idiots… (If that’s not what we had been talking about, it should have been…)

I had just gotten back from getting my hair cut (because if I’m not working, I may as well look pretty doing it… I have to spend my millions of pretend money somewhere) and as I was getting out of my car, an SUV drove past, slowed down, stopped, and some old guy rolled down his window.

“Hey, there.”

This was not your regular, run-of-the-mill, ‘Hey, how ya doin’ today?’ hey there. It was more like a creepy old man offering a little girl some candy and a ride in his beat up van “Hey, there.”

“Hiiiii????” I just stared. And honestly, I wondered if he was going to offer me candy.

“Do  you know who I am?”


“It’s George. From the funeral home.”

George! From the funeral home! The guy that embalmed my dad. Yay!!!!

So, I said in the most normal voice I could muster, “Oh! Hi, George!” but really, inside I was thinking, “Dude, do you have to be so creepy about saying hello???”

“So… What are YOU doing in town?”

Since he was pulled up in the middle of the street (as people in small towns like to do), I was not going to launch into my awesome divorce story so I just said, “Oh… I’m just in town for a while.”

“Oh, so you’re in town for a while, huh? You should stop in some time and say hello. It’s a fun place to hang out…”

And I laughed (awkwardly) and waved and he pulled away.

George. From the funeral home. Who, as he was taking care of my father’s arrangements, spent whatever time and energy he had left to flirt and hit on me and my sisters. It was weird. And awkward.

And now, because of this, I have the heebie jeebies and can’t rid of the full body shiver that keeps taking hold of my body.

Just… Ew.

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