Sticky little people

Or is it little sticky people?

Either way, the little people I was tasked with nurturing and educating today in the absence of their regularly scheduled nurturer and educator were all sticky today.

Did you get all that? They were all sticky.

I know what you’re thinking. “Sticky?” That was my first thought too. And then I remembered. “Ohhhh… Kindergarteners.” And it all made perfect sense.

Seriously, think about the last time you were around a kindergartener who wasn’t sticky. See? Nothing. You get nothing. Because that’s the nature of the beast. Kindergarteners are just sticky. And if they’re not sticky then they’re some other combination of clammy, slimy, damp, gooey, moist, and/or soggy. They are incapable of changing their physical state, and their physical state is almost always any or all of the above. Seriously. Think about the last time you met a clean and dry kindergartener. See? Again, nothing. Pretty sure they don’t exist.

Even now, 4 hours after my assignment, I’m still washing my hands, trying to rid myself of the residual stickiness the little buggars left behind.

But God bless ’em. Today there were no physical altercations, no one wet their pants, and only one kid cried. That, my friends, is success. Sticky or not, that’s success.

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