Stepford Children

I’m sorry… If I seem to be a little confused, a bit discombobulated, perhaps slightly shocked, it’s because I’m still trying to process what exactly went on in school today.

I don’t really understand. I mean… it doesn’t really make any sense. I’ve never experienced anything like this before. It’s… weird. And strange. And foreign. And I’m figuring something must be really, really wrong and I’m just not seeing it.

It’s just that… the kids were so… good.

I mean… really, really good.

I noticed it the last time I subbed too, but thought maybe it was just a fluke.

However, this good behavior seems to be a pattern of theirs. And I am just not used to it.

It seems wrong for these people to pay me. I don’t feel like I put in my time. I mean… I didn’t have to peel a single child off the floor or ceiling. There were no fist-fights to break up. There were no tantrums to manage. No dodging objects being thrown across the room. Not once did I have to scold a child for using phrases like “f-ing b**ch”.  I’m sorry, but this is amazing to me.

I don’t want to jinx it. I’m sure that there will be classes yet that make me want to tear my hair out. But I can handle constant redirection and reminders not to blurt and scolding them for being too noisy. I will take that any day over the former.

I was literally shocked when I heard a class walking down the hall and I didn’t actually hear them. I only heard feet. Just feet. They were like stealthy ninjas. I don’t remember the last time I witnessed a class walk down a hallway quietly. It was amazing. And weird. I got a little suspicious that I was teaching Stepford children, but then one of my kids made a farting noise and burst into giggles, so I figured they were okay.

But seriously? I am so thrilled to be subbing here. So… another silver lining?


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