Man, I’ve been all… “Mer. I’m sad. Life sucks” lately.
Pretty sure I’ve been making sad whale sounds too.
Nobody wants to be around that. Walking around all, “Mer. Bleh. Ugh. Life is haaaaaard.” Seriously, even I’m getting sick of myself. And you know it’s getting bad when I’m bringing Winston down.
So, in order to lighten the mood, here is my top 10 list of things I am thankful for today.
- Coffee from the nearby gas station. Quality product? Heavens no. Tasty? Hell yes.
- New episodes of “The Good Wife”. I seriously live for this show. It’s pretty much the highlight of my week. (Don’t you judge me. And I won’t judge your “Doctor Who” obsession. But seriously… “Doctor Who”? Really?)
- Depressed whales.
- The fact that food calories don’t count on Sundays. Have you ever seen a person get fat on a Sunday? No? Well, there’s your proof right there.
- Periods. They’re pretty much the universal woman excuse for being cranky, fat, and hangry for a week straight. Do we care that we ate 10 Oreos today? Um, no… we’re so bloated we can’t fit into our jeans anyway, so really, what harm is one more Oreo going to do? And when you’ve experienced bleeding out of an orifice for 5+ days straight, then you can come talk to us about our bad attitudes once a month. Mm-Kay? Mm-Kay.
- The sudden realization that my “I want to punch you and the entire universe in the face while I feel sorry for myself and whine constantly about my life” attitude correlates directly with that time of the month. Yessss. This all makes so much sense now!
- Subbing. Because it’s teaching without the extra responsibility. Seriously. Why did I not do this before?
- John Verdon books. Because life could always be worse.
- Boyfriend jeans. They’re basically fat pants, but since they’re so trendy, no one even notices. It’s fantastic.
- Top 10 lists.
Whew! I feel better already.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some Oreos to eat in front of “The Good Wife”.
Yeah. That just sounded weird.