Blogging is the new cult.

I might be following too many blogs. Because when I logged into WordPress this morning, there were 14 new posts for me to read.

Fourteen.

It felt like homework, so I’ll be honest, I skipped a lot of them. I felt ridiculously guilty about the whole thing. I’m sure they’re all super interesting and inspirational and funny, and I’ll bet I would garner a little nugget of truth from each and every one of them but… I just couldn’t. Again, there were fourteen posts. FOURTEEN. That’s like… a lot. And I know ya’ll don’t read every single one of my posts. I mean… there’s no way. Unless you do, in which case, BRAV-O. Seriously. I don’t even read all of my posts. I should get you a medal or trophy or ribbon or… something. Do you want a treat? That always works for my cat. I could get you a treat. It wouldn’t be a cat treat. Maybe an Oreo? But then I’d have to mail it to you and pay shipping and handling and it just wouldn’t be worth it. So… let me just say, nicely done, blog reader. I am impressed. You are a true follower of Annie. You shall be my minion and I shall be your leader. And I will write pointlessly random blog posts, and you shall read them and rejoice in my hilarity.

Or not. ‘Cause now it’s just getting weird and cult-like. And nobody likes a cult. Unless you’re a Scientologist and in complete denial about being in a cult. In which case, you probably don’t like cults either because you don’t realize you’re in one.

See? Look what I did. I just offended all my Scientologist readers. I’m sorry. I was kidding. Truly. Mostly. Kind of. I love you?

Okay, let me start over. Everyone join hands and we’ll sing a rousing rendition of Kumbayah and then we can talk about our feelings and everyone can share their latest blog posts and then I’ll be forced to hear all fourteen of them. And then you can confess that you do not, in fact, read all of my posts either, and then I shall promptly disown you and call you a bunch of heathen unbelievers after which I shall cast you out of my presence.

Sound like a plan?

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