Do not bitch-slap me with your eyes, prissy librarian lady.

Um… pretty sure I was just bitch-slapped by the local librarian. Not literally bitch-slapped, but figuratively bitch-slapped. She bitch-slapped me with her eyes. It was cold. I’m not even sure what I did wrong. Maybe she’s always that bitchy? I don’t know. All I needed were copies. Everything was fine until I told her how many.

Apparently, no one has ever asked to make 25 copies in the history of the library. When I told her I needed 25 copies, the guy behind me grunted “WHOA. That’s a lot of copies!” And then the librarian bitch-slapped me with her eyes. Clearly no one has ever asked to make 25 copies. I almost started apologizing. For what, I’m not sure. Killing trees? Using your ink and paper? Um… ISN’T THAT WHY YOU CHARGE TO MAKE COPIES?! I’m paying you! Why are your panties in a bunch? Do not bitch-slap me with your eyes, lady. I’m sorry there was one other person at the counter checking out books. I’m sorry you didn’t get your coffee this morning. I’m sorry your panties don’t fit right. But do not bitch-slap me for asking to make copies!

Geez, Louise.

On top of that, she then lectured me about only putting 6 pieces of paper into the copy machine at a time. Otherwise it will jam. And they get very, VERY angry when it jams. So, only use 6 pieces of paper at a time. Because they hate when it jams. It makes them very angry. So don’t jam it. Unless I want them to get angry. I’m not kidding. She went on with this circular reasoning for at least 5 minutes.

Alrighty. I will definitely not jam it. Not after that bitch-slapping session I just went through asking for copies. Wouldn’t want to make you any more angry than you already are.

I felt like a naughty child.

Remind me not to get copies at the library ever again.

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