It is currently 42 degrees Fahrenheit here. Apparently, it only feels like 39. It’s not supposed to get out of the 50s today. So, I have my steaming coffee and my pumpkin spice candle to keep me company.
In other laughable and oh-so-joyous news… the ass hat has decided to visit my quiet small town haven to go camping in the area. I don’t know why. Possibly because he’s an ass hat. Who knows why ass hats do what they do? But regardless, I’m overjoyed that it is so cold. I’m hoping for some rain also. Maybe a little bit of sleet. Snow at this point probably isn’t realistic, but the Lord works in mysterious ways so, who knows? If there’s anything the ass hat hates more than being cold and wet… I don’t know what that would be. He’s a total sissy about getting caught in the rain or dealing with cold weather. So, think cold, wet thoughts, people.
In other scary and somewhat horrifying news… I just picked up two other subbing jobs this morning. Apparently, I’m all about subbing right now. Initially, I was super excited. I was finally going to have a “real” reason to dress nicely and put on makeup. But then I started thinking. And obsessing. And freaking myself out. What if I’ve forgotten how to teach? What if being 4 months out of practice has crippled me and all my training has flown out the window? What if the kids are mean? What if I have to yell at them? What if I get a child of the local pharmacist and I have to yell at them and their parent tries to poison me again?
I mean, these are real concerns, peeps. I mean, I’m a pretty good teacher, but… what, with the situation with ass hat and all… what if I’ve totally lost my confidence and I walk in there and I let the kids walk all over me? What if I end up in the corner of the room curled up in the fetal position crying? What then? I keep hearing tidbits about the kids being pretty naughty at this school, and my first thought was, “Psh. I’ve taught inner city kids with major behavioral problems and students in Level 3 EBD classrooms. This will be a cakewalk.” But then I was like, “Holy crappers… what if all my kids from last year followed me here and they’re back just to torture me again? Or maybe they wrote to the kids here and told them how to torture me? What if small town kids are worse behaved than inner city kids? What if I can’t handle it????” And now I’m wondering if I should just cancel the jobs and crawl back under the covers and hide from the world. It would definitely be the path of least resistance…
But no. I’ve never been a quitter. Pull yourself together, Annie. Easy peasy. You got this. You are Annie, hear you roar. One day at a time. Deep breaths.
I got this… right?