You’re doing it wrong.

burger with mayo

This is not my burger, but it might as well be because it looks DELICIOUS. I’m assuming there’s mayo hiding there somewhere…

There are some people in this world who seem to think that putting mayo on a burger (hamburger, cheeseburger, buffalo burger, doesn’t matter) is entirely unacceptable. That it’s somehow wrong. Somehow… Canadian.

I don’t know what the Canadian thing is all about. I’ve never been there so I wouldn’t really know.

Hang on, let me do a quick Google search on that. 

“Is mayo on burgers a Canadian thing?”

Apparently, it is…  “Welcome to Canada! Would you like some mayonaise with that?”

Anyway, as I was saying… How awesome is Canada, eh?!

The Canadians are right. Burgers don’t taste right… don’t have the right kick… without mayo.

Ketchup? On burgers? What is that?! Ketchup is the gawky, middle school, zit covered younger brother of mayo. It does nothing. Not even for fries. The entire invention of ketchup (or katsup for those of you who don’t know how to pronounce it properly) is utterly pointless. That’s why mayo is so important. It’s essential for the proper flavor of a burger.

I honestly can’t remember the last time I had a burger without mayo on it. And let me tell you, I would have remembered it because I would have hated it.

Which is why, right now, as we speak, (not literally, because then I’d get all kinds of juices and weird ingredients all over my keyboard which would not be easy to clean up and it probably end up smelling really gross for a really long time) I am making hamburgers with mayo on the bun. And onions and tomatoes and lettuce. Because, furthermore, a burger isn’t a proper burger without the salad on top.

*Gasp!*

It just occurred to me! That’s why burgers need mayo! Because they need the garden first to make a proper burger. The mayo is the salad dressing of the garden that makes the burger proper!

Whaaaaa???  Mind blown, right? Next I should tackle world peace…

Anyway, however you’ve been preparing your burgers, you’ve been doing it wrong. Trust me. I should know. I’m about to achieve world peace.

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4 thoughts on “You’re doing it wrong.

  1. Jana says:

    I totally agree about the mayo – although I won’t turn up my nose at a little ketchup. HOWEVER, in Utah (where I was raised) they have a marvelous thing called “fry sauce” – which is ketchup and mayo married together – a little pink cup of joy. You should try it!

    Like

    • annieemmy says:

      Shut up… there’s a name for that?! I totally used to do that! And I forgot how much I adored it. I take back everything I said about ketchup… as long as it’s mixed with mayo. 🙂

      Like

  2. thenothatemyhusbandproject says:

    Heck ya!! I’m on your band wagon Mayo only. Pass me that miracle whip stuff and I’m going to be disappointed we are eating a hamburger meal together bwhhahahhah! 🙂 I make a mean burger and make my own buns which always have Mayo on them with my amazing 80/20 charcoal grilled burgers ❤ I'm not Canadian but Samoans always put mayo on so much so there's another fact ❤

    Like

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