Top 10 Reasons Sleep Trumps Spaghetti

Tonight for supper, I was going to make a delicious batch of spaghetti. That phrase is clearly redundant because spaghetti is synonymous with delicious, so I’m not sure why I said that. How embarrassing. *Blush* Forgive me. Let’s start over.

Tonight for supper I was going to make spaghetti. I think I might love spaghetti more than I love life itself. Eating spaghetti is truly one of the highlights of my life. If my life were to flash before my eyes at any given moment, there would be between 16 and 25 moments dedicated solely to spaghetti. That’s how important spaghetti is to me. I may name my first born Spaghetti.

So, tonight was all about the spaghetti. Until I decided to take a very short, very brief nap, before preparing my delicious dinner.

I’m slightly embarrassed to admit this, but the spaghetti thing never happened. Because I was sleeping. And I kept sleeping. And I basically said, “Screw spaghetti. Spaghetti can wait until tomorrow. This nap is amazing.”

Spaghetti, while amazing, cannot compare to mid-afternoon naps on a cool, crisp day. It just can’t. Here are the top 10 reasons sleep trumps spaghetti.

10. Naps don’t give you food comas. Naps are comas. So… that’s pretty cool.

9. You don’t have to worry about the sauce to noodles ratio with naps. Naps don’t need noodles or sauce.

8. When napping, you are not faced with the dilemma of cutting, twirling, or shoveling with abandon the spaghetti. You don’t even have to think about it. Because you’re asleep.

7. Naps don’t result in embarrassing orange-colored sauce rings around the mouth afterwards. Unless yours do… and if that’s the case… I encourage you to see someone about that. That’s weird. And slightly uncomfortable.

6. Naps don’t require preparation! Just fall over. BOOM. DONE.

5. With spaghetti, the cook is always faced with the conundrum of how much or how little? Is this a whole Italian feast complete with garlic bread, salad and Dean Martin music? Or is it just a bowl of noodles and sauce while camped out in front of the television? Naps don’t require that much thought. In fact, naps require no thought.

4. You don’t make a mess with naps! No dishes or clean-up afterwards! (And again, if your naps DO require dishes and cleanup, I strongly urge you to see someone… cause dude… it’s weird.)

3. Naps don’t leave you with heartburn or indigestion just from loving them too much.

2. Naps don’t make you count calories. There are no calories in that pillow. That massive mound of noodles however… And let’s not even get started on the amount of carbs in that thing.

1. Naps let you block out the world for a few minutes. Spaghetti? Not so much. Plus, you’re faced with the unbearable bite, munch, swallow sounds coming from the mate next to you. And that’s just gross. That doesn’t happen with naps.

So there you have it. Proof that naps are naturally superior to spaghetti. But not by much. Because spaghetti is pretty freakin’ fantastic. If naps are kings of the universe, spaghetti is the queen. No lie. You can look it up.

See? Proof.


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