Never Before

Never before have I felt so empty, so helpless, so betrayed, so confused, so hollow, so hateful, so sad.

I thought it would be easier than this. A fresh start. New adventure.

Except for the baggage. And the memories. And the history.

And now every day is like slogging through the worst of all quagmires, trying to find meaning, direction and hope all over again.

It’s exhausting.

All I want to do is sleep.

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One thought on “Never Before

  1. mary watson says:

    I’m so sorry to read your words of pain and misery related to the turning upside down of your life. I too was abandoned by the one who so loved and adored me for 25 years only to trash it all with the words “I never loved you “. It’s been ten years now and those words still haunt me. It is so hard to wrap your mind around the entire marriage , all the things you did together that now mean nothing .And to watch your spouse go on with his life as if nothing has happened, as if your marriage had never existed, is the hardest part to grasp. I too was left without warning, without an explanation, without remorse, just discarded like an old toy. I feel your pain and anger and want you to know that I so get it . It’s a death with no body to bury.
    I wish you peace sister.

    Like

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